Giving Up “the Yamanote Line”

In this series, I share words and insights I have received from ‘the teachers’—mentors I hold in deep respect—at different stages of my life. 

When I first began visiting the qigong clinic, I was someone who constantly worried about others’ expectations and reactions. I had no real sense of my own “axis” or inner compass. I would often act based on something that wasn’t truly my own desires, only to find myself trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction.

Of course, in life, we all need to navigate the “social façade” of polite appearances and conventions. But at that time, I was so caught up in these façades that I had lost touch with my true desires—my “honest self.” The teacher described this pattern of thought and behaviour with a metaphor that has stayed with me: the circular “Yamanote Line” of Tokyo.

They said:

‘The choices you make in everyday life shape your mind, and through that, your body. Stop running on the ‘Yamanote Line.’ Live according to your honest self. When you do, like-minded people will gather around you. ’

The teachers always had a remarkable way of acknowledging my weaknesses and limitations—those very things that made life so difficult for me—while offering hints for change, in words that were both unique and gentle.

At the time, I don’t think I fully understood the significance of what they were saying. Yet, as I began to gradually shine a light on the part of myself buried beneath the façades—my honest self—something within me started to shift.

Drawn to the idea of immersing myself in environments beyond nationalities and languages, I eventually left the company I had worked for six years and went to study in the UK. Since then, I have lived in the country for fifteen years, experiencing a few different jobs along the way. When I think of my closest friends now, they are fellow immigrants navigating life in a foreign culture, just as I am. They have stood by me in times of difficulty, extending warmth and support beyond any differences in background. In my case, I have found deep joy in experiencing the warmth of human connection that transcends differences in background, and I feel that the accumulation of these moments has enriched my life in profound ways.

Over twenty years have passed since then, yet even today, when I feel a lingering sense of unease, I often realise in hindsight that my original motivation was based on façades, and that I should have followed my honest self. These words continue to serve as a gentle, grounding mantra—a reminder of the origin I should always return to.